Skip to main content

Slippery Slope

Since Sierra left on January 13th, I have been on one heck of a roller coaster ride.  I chalk some of it up to these lovely pregnancy hormones, but honestly the majority of it revolves around the fact that I need a horse in my life.  Don't get me wrong, I live on a farm and there are currently 3 horses sitting less than 200 feet from my front door, but none of them are my Sisi Girl. I love them all, but I don't share a bond, a history and a lengthy relationship with them.  Sure, I've only had her 1.5 years but I have spent 10x the hours with her than I have the others.  I've gone through more highs, lows and in-betweens with her than any other horse that is on my farm - and at the end of the day, she's mine.

Image may contain: horse and outdoor

I've spoken about the mental aspect of sending Sierra away for training, and what a struggle it's been. I had spent countless hours finding and vetting a trainer, arranging transport, saving money, thinking about costs incurred, getting Sierra's things ready and sending her off. I never once, until she left, considered how much I would miss her.. but not only that, I never considered how much I need her in my life.  They say horses are therapeutic, and I genuinely believe that - especially now.  I always knew horses were a big part of my life, but I didn't realize how much I need that connection with a horse to keep me on my game, on routine, and feeling accomplished.  The break and lack of responsibility has been nice, but it doesn't outweigh the hole that's missing in my life.

Image may contain: people riding on horses, horse, outdoor and nature

While my original intention was to send Sierra away for a tune-up to benefit both of us in a riding perspective, I really think that I learned a ton about horsemanship as well, despite being nearly 600 KM's away.  I think we find it really easy to take our horses for granted. It's really easy to get discouraged; to blame our horses for our hardships; to get frustrated when the training isn't where we want it to be; when we aren't willing to acknowledge that we dropped the ball and didn't put in the work, and so on...  This experience has caused me so much anxiety, grief and other emotions that I didn't even know were possible when it comes to this specific situation.  Who knew something as simple as sending your horse off for some training could be such a mental mind-fuck?  I have a serious, new-found appreciation for my horse, and all that she brings to my life.  It's been a hell of an experience and when I see friends upset or complain about x, y and z of the 'woe is me, my horse sucks' or 'I need to compete at X level/height this year', I can't help but sit back and chuckle a little.  Perhaps it's because I'm pregnant and therefor my goals of progression this year are out the window, but I truly believe it's because this experience showed me how important my horse is to me - ribbons, scores and personal bests aside.  

Image may contain: one or more people and outdoor

As her training is coming to an end, I am honestly so excited to go down and see her on the 29th.  At this point, barring a catastrophic storm or emergency, hubby and I will be making the 5.5 hour venture south on the morning of February 29th where I will watch CA ride Sierra then hop on for a short lesson.  The following day, we entered Sierra in a horse show on a whim which changed my travel plans slightly.  CA decided to enter her in a level higher than ever crossed my mind so while I had expected to be in the first class of the day, we will be getting a later start on the road - but that's okay. CA will be riding her in the show as I'm so out of shape, but I am really excited to be able to be there and act as groom, snack-lady and general support.  Once again, we aren't going for ribbons but CA and I both feel that the answer to solving Sierra's show ring anxiety is just doing it over, and over, and over again until it becomes boring.  Given the fact that I'm growing a human that is scheduled to bless our life right in the smack-dab-middle of show season, it meant we had to do what we could and take opportunities as they became available

Image may contain: one or more people, people riding on horses, horse, grass, sky, tree, outdoor and nature


  1. This was good information for you. I hope the trip and show go well for you.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Blog Hop: 2020 Summary; Covid Edition

 While we all live in different towns, have different goals and different lives - but one thing that we all have in common is what a wild and wonky year 2020 was.  The reality is, it's all affected us in one way or another, and with 2020 coming to an end it's time to reflect and look hopeful towards an improved 2021. What's the best thing that happened to you in 2020? Personal: Hands down, the birth of my daughter .  After 4 years of fertility struggles, I'm beyond grateful and though some days feel like an eternity of struggle, confusion and pain, my heart has never been more full. Horsey: It's hard to choose. Despite hardly riding, I've had a lot of wonderful horsey-filled memories this year.  From the birth of Phascinating BRR , my second homebred to date, to the few rides I got to enjoy and making a major investment in my breeding business, there's been lots to be thankful for. What's the worst thing that happened to you in 2020? Personal: It's

The Purge

I've been mulling over the idea of doing a post regarding the integrity (or occasional lack of) in the equestrian community for some time, but I couldn't seem to develop a clear vision in my head of how I wanted to piece it together.  I think the reality is, the topic in itself is messy and clouded at best, so I decided to throw all my thoughts out through my fingertips and help myself make sense of all these big feelings I've got swirling around. It's no secret that to some extent, equestrian activities are for the elite. I'm not necessarily talking about those who were born into a Trust Fund or were gifted exceptionally talented horses with easy access to top quality instruction and services but of course, those exist too. I'm talking more so about us - average people.  While you're probably thinking " umm, I'm far from elite and I'm just barely squeeking by * stirs ramen* ", I agree and I hear you when you say you work bloody hard to sup

Blogger Secret Santa 2020

 If you're like me, you've been patiently waiting for the announcement - if you're really like me, you got embarassingly impatient and reached out to The Printable Pony, our fearless leader in this festive fun for the past several years.  Unfortunately she's unable to do the Blogger Secret Santa this year, so I decided to give it a whirl because I love it! Bare with me as this is my first time and I'm doing it relatively blindly, having only participated once in the past.  Please follow the link below to sign up.  Note, the deadline to sign up is November 20, and I have provided a suggested budget of $30 before shipping.  I am hoping to get everyone the information for their draw within a few days following the deadline to allow for ample time to research, shop and ship!  I don't think I have many followers, so feel free to share the link with other bloggers so they can participate as well! I will do my best to follow peoples wishes, but please note in participa