Skip to main content


Since the last horse show on March 2nd, I gave Sierra a week off followed by her previously booked annual Vet appointment at which we did her vaccines and teeth floating, so naturally that resulted in additional days off.  Regardless, I still managed to blow my goal of putting at least 4 Hrs in the saddle this month, and it's been a roller coaster of a month!  I've been significantly behind in my blogging lately, mostly because a large portion of it was spent in a poor mind set, but I have since thoroughly beat myself with the Smarten-The-Fuck-Up stick.

While I was positive and satisfied with the learning experience at the horse show earlier in March, evidently I stewed on it during that week off and fell into the spiral of negative thinking, which resulted in roughly 2 weeks of disappointing rides before I had a CTJ moment of my own.

Drunk Pone
During those brutal 2 weeks, I found each ride disappointing and frustrating.  For the first time since purchasing Sierra last June, I was getting off upset.  Even on days when we had less than stellar rides, I still got off smiling - HTS I Horse Show was case in point; but lately I have been losing my cool and found myself questioning why I even bother riding.  I decided I needed to clear my head, and asked a friend if she wanted to go for a hack down the road last Friday after I rode in the ring.  I enjoy getting out of the arena, as does Sierra, and I had hoped it would clear my head and get her more interested in sorting this out.  The hack started out great, but on the way home things fell apart and I was secretly incredibly upset.   I had convinced myself that I wasn't going to ride in the second horse show on March 30th, and that I was going to sell Sierra and give up.  I found myself looking forward to riding, but riding very abrasively - a way which I know does not vibe well with Sierra.

Earlier this week, I finally got to use the outdoor hitching posts as opposed to taking Sierra into the barn, and I got on in my same ol' Drill Sargent mode and once reaching my breaking point I broke to walk, went to the buckle, kicked my feet out of my stirrups, and began adding up the value of my horsey-things, and the debts I could pay off if I sold it all and gave up.  Once I went through the motions of feeling sorry for myself, I began retracing my steps to determine where things went sideways and it was during this reflection that I determined that because the horse show didn't go how I envisioned, despite being happy when I got off, I changed my expectation in the days to follow -- I reverted back to overlooking my love for the training and became momentarily consumed with ribbons and appearances.. So with that, I concluded that if I couldn't change my attitude, I wasn't riding in the show on March 30th.

March 29th rolled around, and I still had no idea if I was going to take Sierra to the show.  I decided to go to the barn after work and ride like usual, and upon sight of my trailer Sierra got quite amped up.  I did my best to keep my cool and treat it like an average day, but after a 45 minute ride in the ring, I felt like we weren't getting anywhere and I still hadn't decided on attending the show.  I got off, stripped my tack off and turned Sierra loose to burn some energy and do some ground work.  She immediately wanted to run and gallop around like a goof ball, but once she began to settle, we did some free lunging and ended with yielding her shoulders and hind quarters around.  I decided to end things with a bare back halter ride to cool out.  As I wandered around the arena, I concluded I was going to load Sierra up and take her to the show for a second round of educational humiliation. 


  1. It's crazy how mindset can make or break things for us. I hope the show went well!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Blog Hop: 2020 Summary; Covid Edition

 While we all live in different towns, have different goals and different lives - but one thing that we all have in common is what a wild and wonky year 2020 was.  The reality is, it's all affected us in one way or another, and with 2020 coming to an end it's time to reflect and look hopeful towards an improved 2021. What's the best thing that happened to you in 2020? Personal: Hands down, the birth of my daughter .  After 4 years of fertility struggles, I'm beyond grateful and though some days feel like an eternity of struggle, confusion and pain, my heart has never been more full. Horsey: It's hard to choose. Despite hardly riding, I've had a lot of wonderful horsey-filled memories this year.  From the birth of Phascinating BRR , my second homebred to date, to the few rides I got to enjoy and making a major investment in my breeding business, there's been lots to be thankful for. What's the worst thing that happened to you in 2020? Personal: It's

The Purge

I've been mulling over the idea of doing a post regarding the integrity (or occasional lack of) in the equestrian community for some time, but I couldn't seem to develop a clear vision in my head of how I wanted to piece it together.  I think the reality is, the topic in itself is messy and clouded at best, so I decided to throw all my thoughts out through my fingertips and help myself make sense of all these big feelings I've got swirling around. It's no secret that to some extent, equestrian activities are for the elite. I'm not necessarily talking about those who were born into a Trust Fund or were gifted exceptionally talented horses with easy access to top quality instruction and services but of course, those exist too. I'm talking more so about us - average people.  While you're probably thinking " umm, I'm far from elite and I'm just barely squeeking by * stirs ramen* ", I agree and I hear you when you say you work bloody hard to sup

Blogger Secret Santa 2020

 If you're like me, you've been patiently waiting for the announcement - if you're really like me, you got embarassingly impatient and reached out to The Printable Pony, our fearless leader in this festive fun for the past several years.  Unfortunately she's unable to do the Blogger Secret Santa this year, so I decided to give it a whirl because I love it! Bare with me as this is my first time and I'm doing it relatively blindly, having only participated once in the past.  Please follow the link below to sign up.  Note, the deadline to sign up is November 20, and I have provided a suggested budget of $30 before shipping.  I am hoping to get everyone the information for their draw within a few days following the deadline to allow for ample time to research, shop and ship!  I don't think I have many followers, so feel free to share the link with other bloggers so they can participate as well! I will do my best to follow peoples wishes, but please note in participa