Skip to main content

Indecisive

Since the last horse show on March 2nd, I gave Sierra a week off followed by her previously booked annual Vet appointment at which we did her vaccines and teeth floating, so naturally that resulted in additional days off.  Regardless, I still managed to blow my goal of putting at least 4 Hrs in the saddle this month, and it's been a roller coaster of a month!  I've been significantly behind in my blogging lately, mostly because a large portion of it was spent in a poor mind set, but I have since thoroughly beat myself with the Smarten-The-Fuck-Up stick.

While I was positive and satisfied with the learning experience at the horse show earlier in March, evidently I stewed on it during that week off and fell into the spiral of negative thinking, which resulted in roughly 2 weeks of disappointing rides before I had a CTJ moment of my own.

Drunk Pone
During those brutal 2 weeks, I found each ride disappointing and frustrating.  For the first time since purchasing Sierra last June, I was getting off upset.  Even on days when we had less than stellar rides, I still got off smiling - HTS I Horse Show was case in point; but lately I have been losing my cool and found myself questioning why I even bother riding.  I decided I needed to clear my head, and asked a friend if she wanted to go for a hack down the road last Friday after I rode in the ring.  I enjoy getting out of the arena, as does Sierra, and I had hoped it would clear my head and get her more interested in sorting this out.  The hack started out great, but on the way home things fell apart and I was secretly incredibly upset.   I had convinced myself that I wasn't going to ride in the second horse show on March 30th, and that I was going to sell Sierra and give up.  I found myself looking forward to riding, but riding very abrasively - a way which I know does not vibe well with Sierra.



Earlier this week, I finally got to use the outdoor hitching posts as opposed to taking Sierra into the barn, and I got on in my same ol' Drill Sargent mode and once reaching my breaking point I broke to walk, went to the buckle, kicked my feet out of my stirrups, and began adding up the value of my horsey-things, and the debts I could pay off if I sold it all and gave up.  Once I went through the motions of feeling sorry for myself, I began retracing my steps to determine where things went sideways and it was during this reflection that I determined that because the horse show didn't go how I envisioned, despite being happy when I got off, I changed my expectation in the days to follow -- I reverted back to overlooking my love for the training and became momentarily consumed with ribbons and appearances.. So with that, I concluded that if I couldn't change my attitude, I wasn't riding in the show on March 30th.


March 29th rolled around, and I still had no idea if I was going to take Sierra to the show.  I decided to go to the barn after work and ride like usual, and upon sight of my trailer Sierra got quite amped up.  I did my best to keep my cool and treat it like an average day, but after a 45 minute ride in the ring, I felt like we weren't getting anywhere and I still hadn't decided on attending the show.  I got off, stripped my tack off and turned Sierra loose to burn some energy and do some ground work.  She immediately wanted to run and gallop around like a goof ball, but once she began to settle, we did some free lunging and ended with yielding her shoulders and hind quarters around.  I decided to end things with a bare back halter ride to cool out.  As I wandered around the arena, I concluded I was going to load Sierra up and take her to the show for a second round of educational humiliation. 

Comments

  1. L.WilliamsApril 3, 2019 at 9:53 AM

    It's crazy how mindset can make or break things for us. I hope the show went well!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10 Needles

On February 6, 2018 the day had come.  Kidd was booked in to see the travelling Vet who comes to our area to follow up on our appointment last month.  In our last appointment , we isolated Kidd’s issues and confirmed he is not 100% in the hind end; a concern I had lurking deep in my muddled brain for an unfortunate number of years.  I had been convinced by peers and coaches alike that Kidd was fine - I just couldn’t ride him well enough - however my growing suspicions convinced me to seek a professional opinion.  My concerns were quickly confirmed when he saw the travelling High Performance Equine vet in early January.  Upon failing the flexions in both hind limbs, we put Kidd on Previcox while I tracked his reaction and wrapped my head around the possibility of needing to have Joint Injections done. Scrub-a-dub-dub... Note how 'different' Kidd's front feet are Unfortunately shortly after seeing the Vet in January, Kidd su ccumbed to the viral co...
10 comments
Read more

Vet Trip #2 For The Big Lady

I don't talk about her a ton, but we were given Lass, a Clydesdale mare with a rough past who is well into her teens, last fall. Friends of ours who live on an acreage but really aren't 'horse people' 'acquired' her after seeing what kind of condition she was in. They had a vet out to address some concerns that included some sort of fungal issue on her legs and open sores housing fly larvae on her back.  The Vet said her teeth were fine, and they did their best to get some weight on her.  They attempted to sell her, but quickly realized it was in her best interest to just give her away to an experienced home. They're friends of ours, and they asked us if we would take her - My hubby has wanted a draft for some time, so he twisted my rubber arm and I agreed. Shortly after our friends acquired her When we went to look at her, it took 4 of us about 30 minutes to catch her.  She was extremely standoffish and made it clear she didn't want anything ...
12 comments
Read more

Farewell, Sierra | How & Why I Chose My Trainer

I've mentioned several times now that Sierra is going down to my trainers, Carol Ann's (often referred to as "CA" because #lazy), and I thought it fitting to make a post solely related to my decision and the process I took to find her.  I have never used a trainer before and it's been several years since I had the pleasure of having a regular coach (IE: a clinician who came here 6x a year), and it wasn't a decision I made lightly.  Perhaps I feel the need to explain myself and work through my decision to clarify things in my own brain, or perhaps I thought my situation may help others who find their way to my blog. Either way, as I write this future-scheduled post, Sierra is currently on the road and I am a total nervous-nelly about the entire situation. Trying on Liners to prepare to pack Late last summer, I was driving 'round and 'round dragging a square baler for hours on end while I contemplated all life's biggest questions.  As I f...
10 comments
Read more